Happy Thanksgiving!

I am sorry I have not been in here for awhile. I am still stoking the fires of the dream. I have faltered a bit, here and there...doubting myself...doubting the dream. I go back and forth several times in a day. I am so thankful to all of my supporters! You are what keeps me afloat! When the sinking feeling of failure sets in on me, I get just the right nudge needed to get me back to the surface! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Now....eat some TURKEY! (or ham...or vegetables...) I love this holiday!

"Many things which cannot be overcome when they are together yield themselves up when taken little by little."
– Plutarch

I have to keep reminding myself of this...like a child needs to be constantly reminded that he has made a mess. It seems as though this should be something I could remember...without having to read a quote...but I don't. I just keep seeing the big dream. The RV. I keep seeing the dream then seeing that I am not there and I am so suddenly overwhelmed with the obstacles. It is ALL obstacles. Taken together, the obstacles are screaming..."GET REAL, you can't do this and you shouldn't even want to...weirdo."

Deep breaths. Count back from 10. OK.

First of all, I am not weird. Or, at least, the dream doesn't make me weird. What is "unstable" about taking our life out on the road? What is the worst that could happen to us...what is the MOST unstable thing about it? a) not knowing where the next dollar will come from? b) the kids not being "in" school? c) not having a mailing address?

Well, stop worrying because a) we can find work anywhere because we are not above doing whatever it takes, even if it means we do the jobs Americans apparently don't want to do, and b) the kids will learn more from the biggest classroom (earth) than they would ever get here in PODUNK texASS, and c) I will have a mailing address...it just takes longer to get the mail to me but I will have constant and instant email!!!! OK?...so not WEIRD!!

Other obstacles are harder to dispel...they are not about ideas but about realities. We are having no luck finding an RV. But, when I actually break that one down...we aren't trying very hard. I have not even approached my bank about a loan...just in case we need one. Why haven't I? Fear. Fear they will say no, fear they will say yes? Why am I afraid? I think I am actually putting the obstacles in my own way!!!

I am. But, why?

It is such a big change. I am not the only one who will be making the changes. I think I am very afraid of the unknown. What if it doesn't work out? What if I fail? What if we are right back in an apartment 2 months later because we are at each other's throats? What if bears attack? What if...?

Yup, it is ME that puts these obstacles in MY way, and if I take them one at a time I think I will be able to overcome them all.

I HOPE.

MUG SHOT MONDAY!!

I love my mug!! Don't you? I love yours, too! We should all love our mugs! I think the world would be an amazingly happy place if we did!  So Mondays are going to be mug shot Mondays. I was inspired to do this by several ideas I had (that I thought were SO original), that turned out to be currently in use on other blogs…lots of them. So I am mixing the ideas in a way that I think just might be ORIGINAL!  Here is the scoop! I will post a week's worth of mug recipes (with some kind of theme) every Monday, and you will send me pictures of seven mugs that I can post on Mondays.  Now the recipes are going to be for things you can put in mugs…but you never know…I could also post things to put on mugs (some great skin care ideas for your mug)!! Your picture needs to be of seven mugs exactly! So you could have any combination of mugs in the mix, but there needs to be at least one of the drinking/eating vessel type mugs (a cup with a handle) in the mug mix!! Be creative with your mug shots! I will only post one mug shot per week (for now) but other submissions could be used in future weeks! Send your mug shots to livefreelynow@live.com.

http://www.changethethought.com/mugs-by-harry-pearce/

I had to borrow a mug shot from the web for this week.

Today's theme is Chowder!

A great history of the term "Chowder" can be found here http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/ChowderHistory.htm My idea of a chowder is a soup that contains potatoes…if it has potatoes in it, I call it a chowder...unless of course I call it a stew! I consider chowder a frugal food because it does use potatoes, and potatoes are cheap!! Potatoes are also a great food to eat plenty of during the fall. Potatoes are packed with vitamin C and are a great way to boost your immune system...and less risky than a flu shot!!

Plus, I love a good chowder when the weather gets cool. Hope you find one you love!

Chili Chicken Chowder (Cheat)

This has only two perishable ingredients and they can be substituted with non perishables, which makes it a great recipe when power is unavailable... Just add heat.

2 tbsp butter (use olive oil if no butter avail)
1 small onion
1 small green pepper, 1/2 inch dice
3 cloves garlic minced
32 fl oz Chicken broth
32 fl oz water
3 cups potato flakes
1 cup half and half (use evaporated milk if no half and half available)
1 cup salsa verde
15 oz can diced potatoes
Big can of chicken (not sure the ounces but it is the one bigger than the 6 oz tuna sized can)
Salt and pepper to taste (probably won't need either)

Saute onion, pepper, and garlic in butter.
Add broth and water bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and add potato flakes while stirring.
Add half and half, salsa, potatoes and flaked chicken.
Heat through and test taste before adding salt or pepper.
Great topped with crackers, tortilla chips, or cheese.

Serves 6 hungry mugs.

Corn Chowder

1 Tbsp unsalted butter
1 strip of bacon or 1 teaspoon of bacon fat (substitute 1/2 Tbsp of butter for vegetarian option)
1 medium potato, peeled and diced
1/4 red bell pepper, chopped (about 1/4 cup)
*1/2 large yellow onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
*1/2 large carrot, chopped (about 1/3 cup)
*1/2 celery stalk, chopped (about 1/3 cup)
3 1/2 cups milk, whole or low fat
3 ears of sweet corn, kernels removed from the cobs (about 2 cups), cobs reserved (see steps for taking corn off the cob )
1/2 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves (less if dried)
1 bay leaf
salt and fresh ground pepper
*these three ingredients can be substituted with seasoning blend frozen veg mix 1 cup total.

1 In a large saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the bacon strip (skip this step for vegetarian option, just add more butter) and fry until the bacon renders its fat, but doesn't begin to brown, 3 or 4 minutes. Add the onion and saute for 4 to 5 minutes, until soft. Add the carrot and celery and cook for 4 or 5 more minutes.
2 Break the corn cobs in half and add them to the saucepan. Add the milk and bay leaf. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to a bare simmer. Cover the pot and cook for 30 minutes. Make sure the heat is as low as can be and still maintain a gentle simmer (on our stove we had to use the "warm" setting) to prevent scalding the milk on the bottom of the pan.
3 Discard the cobs, the bacon strip, and the bay leaf. Raise the heat, add the potatoes, red pepper, 1 teaspoon of salt, fresh ground pepper to taste, bring to a simmer and reduce the heat to maintain a simmer for 15 minutes, or until the potatoes are almost fork tender.
4 Raise the heat, add the corn kernels and the thyme. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer for 5 minutes.
modified from recipe at Simply Recipes http://simplyrecipes.com/
Serves 4 mugs.

Seafood Chowder

3 tablespoons butter
1small onion, diced
1 stalks celery, diced
2 tbsp mirin (sweetened sake)
1/2 tablespoon crab boil seasoning (recommended: Old Bay)
Freshly ground black pepper
1 quarts fish or vegetable stock
1 quarts clam broth
2 large potatoes, peeled and diced into 1/2- inch cubes
1/2 pound crab meat, or lobster meat, or any combination of the two, picked over for shells
1/2 pound sea scallops or bay scallops
1/2 pound shrimp, peeled and de-veined preferably small but not salad small
1/2 - 1 pound skinned whitefish, such as cod or halibut, or firm white fish like monk or swordfish I have also used shark, cut into 2- inch pieces
1/2 pint half-and-half, heated (do not boil)
Salt

1.Melt butter in a large stockpot. Saute onions and celery in butter until soft and translucent. Add mirin and continue to cook until it is almost reduced. Stir in crab boil seasoning and 1 tablespoon pepper. Continue to cook approximately 1 minute.
2. Pour in fish or vegetable stock and clam broth and bring to a boil. Add the potatoes and cook the potatoes until just tender.
3. Continue to simmer and add crab, lobster, scallops, and shrimp. Return to a simmer and add fish. Gently poach fish until just cooked.
4. Add heated half-and- half. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste.
Serves 6 -8  fishy mugs.

Hot Sweet Potato Chowder
Sweet potatoes are potatoes, too.

4 lbs sweet potatoes, cleaned and quartered
1 med onion, chopped
3 slices turkey bacon, finely chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 TBSP butter
8 cups chicken broth
1 tsp cumin
1/4 cup pickled jalapeños, slices
1/2 cup cilantro
1 1/2 cups half and half
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper

1. boil potatoes in water until just tender then drain, cool, and skin.
2. Saute onion, bacon, and garlic in butter until onions are translucent.
3. Add chicken broth to onion mix and bring to a boil.
4. Dice half of the cooked sweet potatoes to a half inch dice. Add to boiling broth.
5. Puree remaining sweet potatoes with jalapeños, cumin, cilantro, and half and half. Stir into soup.
You may want to sweeten with your choice of sweetener. I add four individual packs of Truvia to the pot and a splash of half and half to the mug to garnish.This recipe is adapted from one in the Homestead Heritage Cookbook.
Makes 6 full mugs!

Grandmas Grilled Cheese Chowder
My Grandma loved to put diced green chilies on her grilled cheese. I made this soup in her honor.

6 large potatoes (russets are best) peeled and diced
2 onions, diced
2 (4oz ) cans of diced green chili
3 quarts of chicken broth (or vegetable or a combination of the two)
1 tsp garlic powder
1/8 tsp cayenne
salt to taste
2 cups of grated or finely diced American cheese (I use Velveeta)

1. Bring broth to a boil. Add all ingredients except cheese. Simmer until vegetables are soft.
2. Blend half of vegetables and broth and use potato masher on other half.
3. Return all to pot and add cheese. Stir until cheese is melted.
I like to dice up a few pieces of buttered and toasted bread and float them on top.
Makes 8 mega mugs!


These last two recipes are great bases to use when creating your own "chowder" variation.
The first is just a basic potato chowder base, and the second is a "faux" chowder made from the "faux 'tato"...cauliflower! Add your own meats, cheeses, or vegetables to make an original chowder.

Basic Chowder

3 large potatoes (russets are best) peeled and diced (1/2 inch)
1 onions, diced
3 cups of chicken broth (or vegetable or a combination of the two)
1 cup half and half
1 tsp garlic powder

Cook potatoes and onion in boiling broth until tender. Reserving 1 cup of diced vegetables, puree or blend the rest. Add the puree to the diced vegetables and add half and half and garlic. Add meat, cheese and vegetables along with additional spices as desired. Add water, broth, or cream to thin and potato flakes to thicken.
Makes 4 main dish mugs or 6 side dish mugs.

Faux Chowder

1 large head of cauliflower, cut into florets
1 garlic clove, minced
4 cups broth (vegetable or chicken or combination)
1 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup butter
salt and pepper to taste

Bring the broth to a boil, then add cauliflower. Boil for about 20 mins to half an hour (until very tender). Add minced garlic and puree in batches (reserve some for a chunky texture if desired). Rinse pot if you do not want any chunks, then return puree to pot. Stir in cream and butter, season to taste with salt and pepper let heat on low until butter is melted and incorporated. This is great by itself, just grate some Romano or parm on top and sprinkle with chives! Or...make your own Faux Chowder variations! I'd love to hear your ideas!
Makes 4 main dish mugs or 6 side dish mugs.

The first step is the hardest!

"The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started."
– Norman Cousins

We are no closer to finding a suitable RV than we were when this idea occurred to us. We are a bit discouraged and frustrated by the difficulty we are having in that arena, but we decided to proceed as if we already have one...eventually we will find one.

So...proceed as if we have one. My sister suggested taping out the dimensions of what we want in an RV on our floors and then trying to make what we have fit inside...might still do that, but not today. What we are doing though, is purging the stuff! I should have taken a picture of Z1's room before I kicked him out of it. That's right, I kicked my oldest out of his room and into his brothers'. I need a space to store all the things we plan to sell or donate, and the three of them need to get used sleeping in close quarters again.

After kicking Z1 out, I proceeded to clear out everything he wants to keep (this is a future battle for us all, but we are purging in stages...sweeps) and then started filling it with things we will sell or donate. Here is a pic of the current state of things in there.

I will post a weekly update on the state of affairs in this room. I am also going to post pictures each week of the items that are "better than garage sale" type stuff. I will accept bids on these items. I will use these bids as "reserves" at my garage sales. If I can't get a better price there, then you will get the item at your reserved price. I will post more details when I get that page set up...

So, after all my fits of depression and fears that this dream would not get her wings...

I feel much better having finally taken a first step!! We are flying now...or at least we are taxiing down the runway!

Quick Quote

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."
– Diane Ackerman

Regrets really don't scare me. I am terrified at the prospect of finding out that my time is limited and then counting the years I have spent saying...maybe tomorrow!!

Overwhelmed much?

Wow! This last week has been busy, but only mentally (except for the ER visit that was also physically taxing). I have been trying to educate myself on the business of blogging, while trying figure out an RV purchase plan, while trying to get up the courage to tell my Dad about our Nomadic decision (didn't go so well), while trying to homeschool/unschool 7th grader, while trying to separate myself (emotionally) from my stuff (while trying to orchestrate a monetary recovery from it), while trying to convince myself that I can adequately educate all three of my boys from the road, while trying to figure out how to make the limited funds we have now fund a new path, while trying to avoid the temptation of convenience (food, entertainment, doubt)...

I am exhausted...mentally and emotionally. My brain is in shut down mode. Or, I should say, rebooting from shutdown mode. Yesterday, I slept nearly the whole day away! It was like a sudden and severe depression just took over and my brain took a snooze. Tom was great! He let me sleep. Even played with my hair on the occasions when I woke up, looking dazed and confused, so that I would go back to sleep (I must have looked really bad). Thank you, Tom!

Even after sleeping ALL DAY, I slept like a rock through the night!! When I did get up this morning Tom had already gotten the 2 oldest off to public school and Zane was reading the newspaper (ok maybe it was the news paper ads...) and he (Zane) had made a pot of coffee!! What a rockin' awakening! What would it take to wake up everyday without the pressure of places to be and the feeling that "time's a wastin' " from the first glimpse of the day's light? I know exactly what it will take!! THE PATH!! I needed the rest, but I have got to find a way to make this happen! and fast!!

Back to the QUEST!! Tomorrow I hope to post PROGRESS!! A look at the purging of possessions that which possesses us!

The importance of regret.

I am a free spirit for sure; some would say "to a fault." I have always beat my own drum and danced my own dance, always. Typically, I have taken great pride in my differences from the "norm" and have encouraged my children to do the same.

I am not sure where I got this trait. I have always insisted it was not from my Mother. My Mom has always seemed a bit to "concerned about appearances" to be considered adventurous. I have always viewed my Mom as a conformist, and at times a bit too conservative. My Dad and stepmother, on the other hand, have always seemed so cosmopolitan to me. They always struck me as easy going, go with the flow, have fun and live it up, type people. Dad felt comfortable burping and farting anywhere (or maybe it is that he felt comfortable after burping and farting...) and Connie frequently drew attention with her wild hair and in-your-face-fashion. Mom on the other hand dresses in denim jumpers and keeps her hair in a bun secured by a zillion bobby pins.

Dad took us on trips to San Francisco where Connie and I would watch as he gracefully thanked a gay man for the flirtation, but as flattered as he was, he was here with his WIFE and kids. Dad and Connie have always been tolerant of differences, so has Mom. And the three of them have always gotten along very well.

When I actually stop and compare the differences in their lifestyles, I think I have somehow gotten it backwards. My Mom has moved a lot. We have always referred to this propensity for change as a "wanderlust." Mom went when she felt like a change would improve life. Mom was a permanent RVer for a little while (long after the kids were grown and gone). Mom went on an Alaskan Cruise. ALONE. Mom was a single Mom since the 70s and she managed to own several businesses along the way. Mom was an accomplished woman even in the days when women were up against all odds in the work place.
Dad and Connie have been comparatively stationary. My Dad might use the word "stable" in place of "stationary" but I have a different idea of what stability is. Dad and Connie have, undoubtedly, managed their finances so well that retirement will be very comfortable, even after the hits they took in the recession. Dad and Connie have had a great life and have rarely had to worry about money because they have worked hard. My Dad's job on the railroad has provided very well, but at a price. My Dad has spent very little time, in the long run, on relationships. I love my Dad, but really I hardly know him. I know this hurts him. He was forced to make a choice. I know he made the right choice for him in his situation.

Our dream, of the nomadic lifestyle, is one that my Mother sees the merits of. My father questions it. I think they are both right. From their different perspectives they both see what they have the capacity to see. At first, my father's less than enthusiastic reaction to my announcement made me feel inadequate. I have always had him and Connie on a pedestal called "success." My Mother fully supports the path we have chosen, and that scared me because she has always been on the pedestal called "struggle."

I have the benefit of having lived in both of their perspectives. I have the benefit of seeing the rewards they have amassed and the failures that now haunt them. The lessons, that are their lives, have inspired me to this path I have chosen. Will I make mistakes? Yes. Will I have regrets? Yes. But my regrets will be different than theirs. My regrets will be the ones my children will use to plan their own paths. My regrets will be necessary and are unavoidable. My regrets are my children's wisdom; like the regrets of my parents are my wisdom. Thanks, Mom and Dad and Connie, for all you have taught me and all you continue to teach. I love you!