"Many things which cannot be overcome when they are together yield themselves up when taken little by little."
– Plutarch

I have to keep reminding myself of this...like a child needs to be constantly reminded that he has made a mess. It seems as though this should be something I could remember...without having to read a quote...but I don't. I just keep seeing the big dream. The RV. I keep seeing the dream then seeing that I am not there and I am so suddenly overwhelmed with the obstacles. It is ALL obstacles. Taken together, the obstacles are screaming..."GET REAL, you can't do this and you shouldn't even want to...weirdo."

Deep breaths. Count back from 10. OK.

First of all, I am not weird. Or, at least, the dream doesn't make me weird. What is "unstable" about taking our life out on the road? What is the worst that could happen to us...what is the MOST unstable thing about it? a) not knowing where the next dollar will come from? b) the kids not being "in" school? c) not having a mailing address?

Well, stop worrying because a) we can find work anywhere because we are not above doing whatever it takes, even if it means we do the jobs Americans apparently don't want to do, and b) the kids will learn more from the biggest classroom (earth) than they would ever get here in PODUNK texASS, and c) I will have a mailing address...it just takes longer to get the mail to me but I will have constant and instant email!!!! OK?...so not WEIRD!!

Other obstacles are harder to dispel...they are not about ideas but about realities. We are having no luck finding an RV. But, when I actually break that one down...we aren't trying very hard. I have not even approached my bank about a loan...just in case we need one. Why haven't I? Fear. Fear they will say no, fear they will say yes? Why am I afraid? I think I am actually putting the obstacles in my own way!!!

I am. But, why?

It is such a big change. I am not the only one who will be making the changes. I think I am very afraid of the unknown. What if it doesn't work out? What if I fail? What if we are right back in an apartment 2 months later because we are at each other's throats? What if bears attack? What if...?

Yup, it is ME that puts these obstacles in MY way, and if I take them one at a time I think I will be able to overcome them all.

I HOPE.